Guys can be so hurtful
I am 23 and single, i have dated a good number of guys, i’ve had a few boyfriends and obviously since i am single none of them have worked out. My recent ex works at the bar most of my town goes to at least once a weekend, including my friends. He seems to have a pattern of dating/hooking up with/then discarding girls who go to this bar. One of them was me (although we did have a two month relationship that was wonderful until he apparently go bored one day) two other girls he hooked up with then just stopped calling are two friends of mine (he started seeing them then stopped after i moved away for the summer and i didn’t become close friends with those girls until I got back).
but anyways, i just think he is treating all of us in a very disrespectful way. One of my friends confessed to me last night that she thinks he is impossible to get over, like he is just too wonderful or something. I couldn’t believe my ears! I mean I know deep down i still wish he would change his mind take me in his arms and never let go, but i really think the only reason i feel that way is because i am still single, upset from the breakup and haven’t found a new guy to fill the void he left me with.
I really hope my friend doesn’t think he’s impossible to get over forever, because anyone who treats women (who are human beings by the way) the way he treats them does not deserve a woman at all - and he certainly doesn’t deserve to have every girl he tosses aside become heartbroken and follow him around forever just hoping to be picked back up again.
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I know breakups are hard to deal with and it does take awhile to get over no matter what a jerk the man is. My family has a friend that does the same thing as the man you talked about, at any given time he is playing 5 to 6 women then when he finds some more stupid enough not to see what he is doing he moves to them leaving the heartbroken women crying for weeks. These men do this stuff for a few reasons mostly cause they can but also because they feel the need to make others feel bad about themselves so its easier to use them again. I know its wonderful to have a man you love and that loves you but please don’t think you need just any old one, you are a strong independant woman that is too good to settle for anything less than Mr Right.
On an opposite note… some of these player type guys aren’t in it to hurt women (but they still do, cuz they don’t view things in their proper perspectives, like US) But are in it to woo and please a woman… they love making a woman happy, but lack security in themselves to believe that they can keep this up… so they leave and repeat with a new woman. This leaves the woman feeling like your friend (and I suspect, you also) but remind yourself (and her) that this is only because you were in the honeymoon phase of the relationship… he was putting his best foot forward, trying to impress. This is NOT how this guy would be 4 years down the road… he would be a “regular” guy…flaws and all.
I date players on occasion… I love it, they treat you like a princess… say and do all the right things… ahhhhhhh
but it’s only temporary… they lack what it takes to show their “real” selves, so when they run out of game, they have to go, cuz they don’t want to be rejected…
hope this perspective helps
AMEN! I completely agree with what you are saying. The thing that is going on here tho is that we are all young (I am 22) and I have had a few relationships myself. I am in a fantastic one right now but I have been through the stage of the bad boy! They are the guys that all the girls want, they treat girls like trash, and yet the girls still want them. They are in it for the thrill of having that guy that all the other girls want! You know what I mean. And I really do believe that everyone should be able to feel complete as a single woman and love themselves before a guy should come into their life as an added bonus, you know what I mean? That is just my thought on it. But keep your head up hun, there will be a fantastic guy who will treat you right come into your life when you least expect it and sweep you off your feet…and the best part is…he will RESPECT you!
thanks for all of these wonderful comments! Its really helpful to hear about this issue from other people’s perspectives. Sounds like the situation i described is not an uncommon trait for men to have, and there are a number of reasons guys act that way. I guess its important to try to keep things in perspective and remember the old but true phrase “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” If we can each feel good about ourselves it won’t matter if a guy decides to leave one day, we’ll be just fine and a better more suitable one will come along. I will try to live that way and feel happy single - easier said than done - but the best way to meet a guy is when you really don’t need one. =)